How to Deal with Expectations and Disappointment

Want to know what is the secret of happiness? It’s low expectations from yourself and others. Expectations lead to disappointment and frustration. Often we think that we can control everything and everything should go as per our desire, but the fact is there are some situations and things that are beyond our control. For instance, you cannot forcefully make a person do things you like. Eliminating expectations from others gives you the freedom to enjoy and takes away the power from others to hurt or disappoint you. Explore more to discover the answer to how to deal with expectations.

Most of our life revolves around what others expect from us and even our expectations are based on theirs. Our parents want us to behave in a certain manner, our teachers want us to excel in class, our friends want to react to things in a certain manner, and so on. But, truly is it fair? We are setting up our expectations based on the expectations of the people around us. 

Are Expectations stealing your happiness? Continue reading to find out more about how to deal with expectations. 

Thoughts to Reduce Unfair Expectations Immediately

We live in a notion that expectation is normal, but is it actually normal? Even in basic life choices, two people are not similar. There is a difference in lifestyle, habits, food choice, favorite color, and so on. So, how can we expect people to behave the way we want. 

  • Immediately question your thoughts.
  • Understand that you and another person can be right at the same time.
  • Stop making judgments without pausing and questioning.
  • Take ownership of your own choices. 
  • Understand that expectation is an illusion. When you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.
  • Don’t feel the pressure of pleasing someone else.

How to Deal with Expectations

1. Concentrate on the Present

It’s a true fact that the more you think about the events in the future, the more expectations you will have. Living in the present helps to reduce the expectations from yourself as well as others. The future and the past are mere words, what matters is the present moment. Enjoying every second and the awareness of being in the moment helps not to expect anything from life. Whatever you want to accomplish, just feel like you have already accomplished that. For instance, instead of saying ‘I will be happy’, make an affirmation that ‘I am happy’.


2. Be Satisfied with Whatever You Do

Remember, you are not born on this planet to please someone else. Be satisfied with whatever you do and never make anyone else the cause of your happiness. Being happy is your own choice so don’t expect others to make you happy. When you accept less from others, you get more.  

3. Don’t Be Afraid of Expectations

There is nothing wrong with having expectations from self and others. We are human beings and staying with people obviously means expecting one or the other thing. The problem actually starts when people don’t match our expectations or behave in the way we want. But, as a person, it is essential to understand that no two people can behave or think in a similar manner. Everybody on this planet has their own set of beliefs and ideologies so how can they become the way you want them. 


What to do in such a situation?

When we expect a lot from someone and the person is not behaving our way, we often start holding grudges and pain for that person. It is essential to accept that everyone has different habits, nature, and personality. It is necessary to accept that people can have their own choices and it’s nothing wrong with this. Whenever you feel that somebody is acting against your expectation, start questioning your mind.

Is it fair to want somebody to behave our way?

Concluding Thoughts

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‘Keep no expectations, there will be no dejections.’ This can indeed be your secret to happiness. Life has its own plans so instead of expecting it is better to let life happen. What you can do is enhance your abilities instead of spending a major portion of your life on fantasy and silly expectations.